nobody eats parsley

Sit down, grab a beer, and let me tell you some stories about my family. They’re so ridiculous you may think they’re fiction. Like the time I went to a drive-in X-rated movie without realizing my parents were in the next car. Or the time I let my kid throw a rock through our living room window. There’s the time I bought a camouflage thong in a bait shop and the time I ruined a kid’s birthday party. And the other time I ruined a kid’s birthday party. I can’t guarantee that these stories will make you laugh, but I can guarantee that I didn’t make them up.

David Oakley is much better looking in person than in this video.

“Great stories. You made me smile.”

— Seth Godin, International Best-Selling Author of Purple Cow

“So you can’t choose your family. But you can write a book about them and destroy the parsley industry in the process. I wouldn’t last a week in David Oakley’s wacky family, but I would pay money to attend their reunion! I so appreciate David’s wicked humor, brilliant story-telling, and true love of family. Even if he doesn’t know that parsley is a garnish.”

— Tracy Lee Curtis, Humorist & Author of Trophy Mom

“David has figured out the secret to life: he’s learned to laugh at himself. We would all be richer if we learned how to do the same.”

— Kristen Cavallo, CEO of The Martin Agency

“This may not be my dad’s best book, but it’s definitely in the Top 2.”

— Sydney Oakley, Daughter

“If I ever learn to read, I’m going to read this book. Maybe it’ll explain why David always watches me poop.”

— Walter, the Family Dog

“David makes me laugh. Especially in bed.”

— Claire Oakley, Wife

“Who is David Oakley?”

— Lucas Oakley, Son

“I met David Oakley once.”

— Malcolm Gladwell

“This book helps me fall asleep every night.”

— Pat Oakley, Mom

to fulfill a bulk order, please email david@davidoakley.com.